MY 22ND BIRTHDAY: EARTH STILL DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

An Identity Crisis Disguised as Science Fiction.

Twenty-two years ago, on June 30, a spacecraft fell from the sky and crash-landed on Earth. On board were the Queen of Virellia, the King of Virellia, Princess Lennyllas, and a small unit of royal soldiers. She was a baby princess, born only a few days earlier, in the middle of a war between the planets Asteron and Virellia. Asteron had sought to capture her because of her rare creative power and extraordinary intelligence, gifts said to shape the future of the kingdom.

To protect her, the Queen made the decision to move the baby princess to a safer planet, Earth. A morphing potion was used to transform her into a human and conceal her identity. Once she believed the princess was safe, the Queen, the King, and the royal escort returned to Virellia, leaving her behind on Earth. She was found by a human family and raised among them, growing up as a human without any knowledge of where she came from.

As she grew, she felt misplaced. There was always a sense that something was missing, something she could not name. No matter how much she tried, she did not quite fit in. Early on, she developed an attachment to books, music, literature, and cinema…the one part of being human she consistently found comforting. She always had trouble making friends, and the ones she did make never stayed for long, so she eventually stopped trying. In her late teens she experienced what humans call heartbreak, a particularly unsavory experience, and she has not dared again.

Today marks exactly twenty-two years since Princess Lennyllas came to Earth. She is not particularly excited. Birthdays have always felt like yearly humiliation rituals. A reminder that another year has passed, yet she still does not know where she belongs or what she is supposed to do with the life she has been given.

On most of her birthdays, she does not receive many wishes beyond her parents and her younger siblings. And, like clockwork, a message from her bank, FNB. But this time, her phone is not as quiet. A heartfelt birthday message from Sizolwami. Another from F🌷 . And an in-transit letter from her penpal Sophia Moleke…most likely wishing her a happy birthday. It means a lot to her. It makes her feel a little less sad.

As usual, she spends the day closed off in her room, reading a book, eating junk food, and binge watching her favourite show. She probably cries too…it is almost tradition, but not as much as usual. It is not a good day. But it is not as unbearable as it used to be.

Lately, she has been tapping into her creative side more. Writing stories, articles, poems, creating designs, and writing rap. She is not good at singing, not in the slightest, but she can “lay bars,” as humans would put it. It has helped her understand herself more, and her emotions more clearly. There is a quiet relief in it, like something she has been carrying for years finally has somewhere to go.

She has also met a few people on Substack. They may not realize it, but their words, support, and kindness make the world feel a little less distant, a little less alien.

It does not fix everything, but it makes things feel less empty. And maybe, with time, she will realize she is not meant to fit in the way she once thought. That she is full of something larger, and that people like her were never meant to belong everywhere they tried to be. One day, she will find her people, and in them, she will finally feel like she belongs. She will find her place in this world. For now, it is enough to feel a little less lost.

~Carried, then written

~Carried, then written